Life is a mix tape – Love and Loss, One Song at a Time

The heart was made to be broken – Oscar Wilde

Years back I would have argued with Oscar Wilde and said this was a lie. I would most likely have said “the heart isn’t built to be broken, the heart is built to love and to feel love”

However, the rollercoaster my love life has been as, in fact, proved Oscar right. Let me share with you my favourite heartbreak story- trust me I have had so many unsuccessful attempts at love and happily ever after.

My elder sister had introduced me to a guy she described as “awesome.” I wasn’t so excited to meet him though, my focus was on her giving the guy my number and blackberry pin. I was further irritated by the fact that the “awesome” guy didn’t message me immediately after he sent me a BBM request.

He later reached out to me after a week and it didn’t take long for me to fall in love with him. Awesome isn’t enough to describe this man. My day started and ended with me talking to him. We prayed together, shared ideas together and we figured things together.

I was so in love that if I had stretched forth my hands I would have touched my happily ever after. We had sunk our feet deep into the relationship before realising that we were both genotype in-compatible. The night we found out was a nightmare. I felt my heart leap out of my chest to the floor and I watched it break into tiny shards. The tears won’t come immediately but six months after my eyes became an uncontrollable tap.

I felt hopeless, the words wouldn’t come out of my mouth and for a long time I couldn’t breathe. He whispered to me “Babe it’s okay, we will be just fine, there are ways to go about things like that this. There are several medical procedures we can go through”

I was too astounded to speak, the tone of his voice sounded like he had expectations – he wanted me to believe him, trust him. Not wanting to hurt his feelings any further I began to nod my head continuously as he spoke. I began to believe him since he sounded like he knew what he what he was saying.

I decided it was “our” secret to keep and telling people – my sister included, wasn’t the right call to make in figuring things out. I carried on with my business only for him to say that he spoke with his siblings and they thought it will be financial and emotion efficient if we went our separate ways.

I felt the ground slip beneath my feet. I felt betrayed but I couldn’t figure out the root cause of my betrayal. Him telling his siblings or him believing all they had told him. What happened to him – “US” having it under taps? His promises of love to me? What happened to us figuring it out?

I thought that was a shocker, but nothing could have prepared me for the mighty blow that followed after. He wanted us to cut ties immediately because in his words he “didn’t know how to deal with the situation.” I couldn’t help but to feel like a nuisance whenever I reached out to him.

My eyes poured out all my frustrations. I was dejected, betrayed, heartbroken and weak. I became lightweight because I wasn’t eating and I was constantly lost in thought. Eventually, I stopped reaching out.

Albeit not immediately, I decided to take charge of what was left of my broken heart, I picked up a box and I began to drop all that was left of him inside the box. It challenged me mentally but I knew it had to be done for the sake of my sanity.

I dint realise I had packed all that was left of him out of the closet my heart is until I saw him recently and it was almost as if I was staring at a total stranger.

Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or lose. – Lyndon B. Johnson

I had sung and listened to the song of love and loss now I’m listening to a mixtape on moving on.

What mix-tape are you listening to now?

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23 Comments Add yours

  1. Malissa says:

    Wow 👐👐

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Brilliant, simply brilliant

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My head is totally swelling

      Like

  3. zeeeee01 says:

    Beyonce and Jay-Z’s everything is love album👌

    Liked by 2 people

  4. joars77 says:

    not sure if there is new word to describe perfection, but this is totally amazing dear.
    great piece here 😍

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! God bless your heart

      Like

  5. Busayo says:

    Wow I can imagine what you went through dear.
    And kudos to you for taking charge and breaking free when you needed to. It’s not easy at all. Keep been a strong girl. I love you 😘

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for reading❤

      Like

  6. ologs says:

    Wawuuuuu…. This is totally deep

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Thank you for sharing ..I too believe life’s a mixture of love and loss

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for taking out time to read thus article.

      Like

  8. Anu says:

    Nice one Yomi…And if it’s your story, you did the right thing😘

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for taking out time to read this

      Like

      1. Anu thank you for reading 💕❤. Yes, it is my story.

        Like

  9. Kemi says:

    Yea so true, life’s indeed a mix tape. And we really don’t know how strong we are until that’s our only option.
    You’re strong
    And I’ll say again, you’re wise for knowing when to be strong

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for reading!!! It was a process oooh but God is good.

      Like

  10. Debs says:

    Wow, I could play each scenario in my head and I know how very painful this must be for you.

    I’m glad you found a way to let him go. That’s the only way you could have heal

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for reading. As at then I thought we could breakup and the friends.🙈

      Liked by 1 person

  11. I went ‘awww’ when i realised it was genotype related. Beautiful relationships have had to end sadly because of incompatibility.

    It must have been really difficult…. Since you’re sharing, I guess it’s a lot lighter to talk about now. Lovely read

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for reading❤. The pain has dulled making it easier to talk about now.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Paul says:

    Hmmmm. Comments reserved.

    Like

  13. Arike says:

    I wanted to leave it for another time to read but decided to just read it and wow it’s AWESOME. keep it up. The way u used the words at the right places is a wow

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Yax says:

    Once I started reading, I had to get to the end of it. Gripping.

    Liked by 1 person

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